“Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”
I remember being in elementary school and not having many friends.
I remember going to summer camp at the YWCA and not being part of the in crowd.
I remember people throughout school making fun of my forehead because they thought it was big.
I remember being the tallest one in the class and feeling different.
I remember being the only black girl in my class and feeling alone.
I remember going to college and not being able to dance at the club the first year.
I remember doubting who I was and knowing my value.
I remember second guessing all my decisions and wondering if I got it right.
I remember hating the concept of change because of the fear of the unknown.
I remember crying myself to sleep because I didn’t know my purpose.
I remember being a people pleaser because if I made them happy somehow I would become happy.
But what I am learning now is, the past doesn’t matter. The past doesn’t control who I am today. Its the process I have gone through to get to this present day. Focusing on the past won’t get me any closer to the finish line. If I continue to focus on what happened in my past, I will never learn to value the greatness of today. Nor, will I have hope in the future. All I must do is learn from the past and not relive the past. The past is the past and the present is what matters. I cant keep going back to chapter 1, I have to look in chapter 38. I have to turn the pages so to get to chapter 39. Going back to review chapter 37 and reliving all that happened and dwelling on that chapter will not help me get to chapter 40. I must focus on what God says is for me and what He has planned for me. The past is the past and can’t be changed, but the present is a gift that I have to nurture and make sure I am pressing towards what lies ahead. Looking back will merely slow me down and I am on a mission to “press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”