The feelings underneath it all

I have two sets of feelings a reflexive set they are how I respond to everyday life. These are what I believe made me who I was. These feelings that boiled so very close to the surface, and would often erupt with ease. Though I was told I was sensitive, so I would just begin to bury my feelings. Because who wants to be sensitive but…

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I have so many things that I wish I knew how to say. Thoughts that lie buried deeper than the words I’ll speak or ever write. I love so deep that it scares even me, and I often wonder will it remain that way.  The beauty to me is in the pain. Pain of knowing the more, but failing to use it. Beauty is what I wish to truly show, and it pains me that all I can do is this. There is more to me I know it, and my love is deeper than this. Where is the key, and why don’t I have it? Did I really lose it or just forget how to remember? There’s more to me I know it, and this beautiful pain is my reminder of it.  Twice filtered between my thoughts of what I feel, and what I feel I should say. I feel more than what I feel, and say less of it. There’s a underneath it all, under it all. How do I say it?  There’s more to me than this, and if this is good. There’s so much more than this, but I will not give up on it.

Yes I have my fears and my potential is my greatest, because the great are treated differently. Though now that I acknowledge it with these words. I can begin to address, and in my own way undress the layers of me to finally accept what lies underneath it all. Everytime I write it becomes a bit clearer. The more I pull from the heart of me the more of me I become. The me I was so afraid of will be the key to me being the me I forgot. With every word I write I become a little more of me. I was told once that I should never stop writing, and the truth behind it all didn’t register until now.

2 thoughts on “The feelings underneath it all

  1. hey Jarvis,

    I understand how you feel. I understand that is eaiser to be passive aggressive. I too want to take off the layers and be authentically real. Life is too short to be fake. I too can be sensitive, but is that a crime? So you understand how people feel instead of only hearing what they said. It’s almost like our level of sensitivity reads the writing on the wall and because you discovered the secret, now you are sensitive. Calling you sensitive is maybe hope of stripping you of your power so that the world loses a glimmer of your light. When you are real, it forces others to be real and transparency is scary. I’m glad you decided to write. In today’s day and time, it’s good to be sensitive instead of being desentized by all the negativity that we encounter daily. Thanks Jarvis for sharing more!
    ~Karla

    Like

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