A year ago today I unwittingly started a journey of words. I remember where I was when I began, and now I reflect on what has become since then. “Sink or swim” is where I started, and during this year there were many times I began to sink. Growing weary as the changes seemed to overwhelm, and I found myself far from the shore. I wanted to drown, sink into the vastness, and forever remain a mystery of the deep. I drank it in deep, my sorrow, the pains of my loss, and the fears of my broken heart. Then I stopped swimming, and I sank….
The darkness welcomed me as my heart began to slow. Each beat echoed loudly through my chest. I felt comfort in knowing that my heart would be spared pain. I felt Death grip my heart, because to me life without love is a fate worthy of death. I drowned and as I sank there was a moment of clarity as my heart rate slowed, and the lack of oxygen made time stand still. My eyes once forced shut opened to see a light in the darkness. A light which glowed dimly and grew blindly bright. This must be the light, and my time must be nigh. A faint smile fell upon my face, and I shut my eyes to the light and the dark. The eternity between living and dying “how can one live without knowing death, and how can one die without ever-living?” on this question I was left to ponder…
A Year Later
I am alive, but I surely died then. Was it real or just a dream? Why am I here? I thought death would relieve my pain, but instead death taught me life is overcoming pain. A year ago today I looked to death as an escape. Yet instead it became my teacher. It taught me to live for that which I would die to do.
Today is the Writerversary of my WordPress journey. During this year I struggled often yet I have lived to see this time come. I stand upon the shores staring out upon the waters. That I once sought death in. Only now I’m going out into them to find the life worth dying for. These words are a testament to my journey, and a light upon my path. One that can lead me should I feel overwhelmed by what seems to be too much. Remember that death gave you a life worth living, and I shall live until we meet again. Upon the journals of my heart shall my story be read.